Waking Up

I have this friend, he’s a yoga teacher, well, a tantric yoga teacher to be more exact. And some time soon I’m going to blog about tantra because that’s a whole big steaming mess of misunderstanding.

But let’s just say that tantra is the practice, and science, of expansion. “Tan” means something like inertia, or lethargy and “tra” means the force that liberates. So literally, tantra means that which liberates from the sleep or the lethargy of existence. But “tan” also means “to expand” – Sanskrit words have so many meanings, it just seems to go on and on – so tantra also means that which liberates and expands.

This thing called tantra proposes to awaken you from the anesthesia of living like a zombie. You know, the big screen plasma tv, the bottle of something mind altering, the quart of Haagen Das, the shot of celebrity gossip. It can go on and on. We can find lots of ways to go back to sleep, that’s easy.

But the thing that wakes you up from all that, whatever you call it, is ultimately tantra, and it happens because you practice going in to yourself and touching that which is undoubtedly Real, the truest part of yourself. And when you bring it back into your every day life, well, the yogis like to say that the “veils of illusion are lifted.” It’s amazing how there are always more veils to lift.

Anyway, this friend of mine likes to say this about spirituality: “Either you expand or you don’t.” But it’s even easier to go back to sleep – which is why there is practice. The thing about expansion is that the possibilities are endless, there are always opportunities to wake up even more, to expand even more.

And I’m not talking about visiting Starbucks here. Did you ever have this situation when you thought you were doing everything right and everything is coasting along so sweetly and suddenly, wham, there’s the shakedown. Everything you thought was real and true is pulled out from under your feet?

I was once in a situation where I thought I was being completely altruistic, I remember being accused of having ulterior motives – an accusation I vehemently denied. I spent a lot of time defending myself and being very hurt and upset. And I also allowed the situation into my meditation and through the practice realized that there were certain things I was doing that were not entirely pure. It was not at all a pleasant realization about myself, but it did force me to change and to become vigilantly clear about my motives.

We all have roles and masks we put on that keep us in various stages of slumber. We mostly have developed them from childhood or even came into the world with assumptions about ourselves. What opportunity do you have to wake up today from something that is keeping you asleep – what can you change about the way you see yourself that will set you free?

Then there’s the waking up that we all need to do collectively… the scene below is great - if you can catch one of my Chakra workshops – I talk about this scene as a metaphor for  the spiritual awakening which occurs when we move from the first to the second chakra. The symbolism is amazingly accurate!

February Inspiration

4 Ways to Get Inspired

A friend told me the other day that she’s been feeling depressed. “I think it’s just this end of February stage I go through,” she said. “Just waiting around trying to make it through the end of winter. Well,” she paused. “It could also be that I just got laid off, the economy is in shambles, and we’re in the middle of a serious drought.”

Hmm.

This morning a bulldozer started digging up the ground 10 feet off the side of my house. They’re putting in yet another house on my street, which was once a forested oasis in the middle of the city. My first reaction was to cry. It was pretty sad to see the trees that I once enjoyed watch whispering in the breeze hit the ground with an unambiguous “thunk”. It’s sad to watch my garden (which, I admit, I illegally let creep into the neighboring lot) be dug up into a basement foundation.

But then my 4 year-old son came into my room, saw my state, and said, “Mommy, don’t worry, that bulldozer won’t dig all the way down to where the volcano fires are.”

my mind after the bulldozer

In all these years of studying and practicing yoga and meditation, I still have much to learn (mostly from a 4 year-old, it would appear) about non-attachment in troubling times.

And so here we find ourselves, collectively and perhaps individually in the middle of quite interesting times. There has been an economic downturn, or maybe “landslide” would be a better word choice there. And there’s a panic pulsing through the vibrational fields of the powers that be, mostly stemming from the worry that people will stop shopping.

Shopping. People need to keep shopping they say. Um, excuse me, are you serious? Is shopping really going to save us? Shopping?

When you can’t go outward for satisfaction, there is no choice but to turn within. And this is where the opportunity lies.

And with this in mind, there are many things to feel inspired about. How about starting that meditation practice you’ve always wanted to have? How about volunteering for that community organization you’ve always been interested in? Many opportunities for inspiration.

And many ways to get there when you’re not feeling the magic…

Here are 4 yogic tools you can use to get inspired:

1. The Play is the Thing

In yoga, the cosmic play is called “Liila.” The idea is that everything that happens to you is part of a great big soap-opera drama.

I’m sure you have had something “bad” happen to you – like losing your job, ending a relationship with someone you thought was your soul-mate, or even banging up your car. Six months later you have a much more fulfilling job, you found someone who makes you realize that you were using the term “soul-mate” rather loosely, or your lack of a vehicle has helped you walk more and get in shape. We all have had experiences like this.

So, the technique is to remember, when you’re in the middle of something that seems like an irreversible tragedy, that you never know what will happen next in the play, and often, if you simply commit yourself to optimism, to trusting in your divine Source, and to doing the right thing, you will be pleasantly surprised. This stance will put you into a state that yogis call “rasa liila” or going with the flow of the divine play.

2. Incorrigible Optimism

Commit yourself to an incorrigibly optimistic attitude. This is not to be confused with rose-colored glasses syndrome or a superficial tendency to repeat “It’s all good” all day long. Optimism is a state of mind of trusting the universe and understanding that no matter what happens, you are always being guided and supported.

“You are never alone or helpless, the force that guides the stars guides you too.”

Bad things do happen to good people – including ourselves. We need compassion and empathy for ourselves and others and we also need to support ourselves and others in every way we can when we are in the middle of a trying time. However, succumbing to a state of despair is a bottomless pit. Hope is a tender petal on the flower of the heart chakra. (And that’s not a metaphor – It’s tantric microcosmology!) Find what nurtures the hope in your heart and feed it. And here’s a big secret: a regular asana practice will help you stay optimistic!

3. Satsaunga (Keeping Good Company)

“Sat” means “true”, “honest”, “inspiring” and “saunga” means “community.” Who are the people that inspire you and are you spending enough time with them?

Life is busy for everyone – but that doesn’t have to be an excuse to neglect yourself. Have a monthly potluck where you invite people who like to meditate and do it together before your meal. Or have a sharing circle and perform your favorite low-key ritual, group hug or Om. Start a weekly yoga get-together at your house. Join a meditation group.

There are so many ways to make satsaunga happen, but if we only invite our computer, it won’t.

4. Sing!

This is the easiest and perhaps best way to recapture the magic. If you’re shy, in the shower with you!

What music inspires you? Are you into kirtan? Then put on some Krishna Das or Deva Premal and sing along. Repeated phrases create a groove of positive vibration in your nervous system. This is yogic vibrational medicine. But it can be any kind of inspiring music – it has to inspire YOU. Sing in the car, while you’re cooking. Listen while you’re working, or when you get up in the morning. Singing changes your vibration quickly and can give you back the clarity and focus you need to feel inspired and positive.

Patanjali on Oprah

You can pretty much find everything in every self help book you’ve ever read or heard about concisely outlined in the Yoga Sutras. The author, Patanjali, understood some very deep things about human psychology.

What if Patanjali was alive now? What if he wrote a self-help book and then got interviewed by Oprah? You might overhear something like this in the coat room after yoga class.

“Did you see Patanjali on Oprah?”

“OH-MY-GOD! That was completely amazing! I mean, I felt like he was talking to me personally? It was incredible!”

“Totally – that’s exactly how I felt! I was like, ‘How do you know exactly what I’m going through!”

“He’s SO peaceful.”

“When he said that part about how, if you can’t stop obsessing about something negative, you should figure out what the opposite of that would be and then meditate on it. That was so totally cool. And I’ve been so annoyed with myself for not being able to deal with my completely irritating mother-in-law. So now every time she calls I think of her as “soothing and sweet” instead of ”Incredibly irritating.” I mean, that really helps. I wouldn’t have believed it but it really does.”

“I loved that! I can’t wait to buy his book, have you read it?”

“Yeah, I got it from my sister for Christmas cause she said I would really like it cause I’m so into yoga and all – and she thought it might help me not be so obsessive about my weight. Oh, did you see the part where he was talking about how if your mind is like, all over the place, you can focus it by thinking about something that makes you feel totally relaxed and peaceful.”

“Yeah, that was cool. I was totally on the beach in Maui.”

“Awesome! He’s amazing.” sigh.

“Kind of a bummer he’s a monk.”

Here are the two sutras – they sound great in Sanskrit. Give ‘em a listen.

Yoga is Smokin’

“Yoga is just like smoking.” That’s what Deb the waitress told me when I was a drinking, smoking confused 20-something aspiring writer who had just moved to San Francisco.

It was 1989, I finished my graduate degree a few months earlier in Washington, DC. That year was filled with books, papers, research and smoking. I sat at my friend’s word processor (remember those?) and wrote about Ophelia, post-modernism and Kristevian feminism and smoked myself into a lovely case of young adult existential angst.

Then I moved to California. And IMHO, anyone who grew up in the Northeast needs to spend a bit of time decompressing in California. So I got a job as a waitress and went to lots of Grateful Dead shows. Deb, who had recently lost her PR job, was about 35, and reminded me of an even more nervous Demi Moore. She was waitressing in between things. We worked at this upscale lunch spot downtown and spent our breaks trying to figure out what the heck to do with the rest of our lives.

So I was sucking on a cancer stick and knowing that I wanted to quit she said, “Hey, why don’t you start doing yoga?”

Blank stare.

“Look, it’s just like smoking.” And she put her fingers up to her mouth as if she was holding a cigarette and took a deep breath. “See, it’s not about the nicotine, it’s about deep breathing.” Damn if that wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever heard.

A few weeks later, on my 24th birthday I gave myself the present of tobacco-free lungs. I threw away the pack I had. I bought several bottles of guava juice (someone told me it would detoxify my body – whatever!), a bottle of Beefeater gin and half a dozen limes. For two weeks after that, anytime I craved a cigarette, I put my fingers up to my mouth and took a deep breath – then I poured myself a stiff G&T.

Then I found a yoga class – and eventually that replaced the hard liquor too. I had started doing yoga in middle school so I had the general idea – and I had taken a bunch of classes in college. It would be a few more years before I got really serious about it.

So, it’s a good New Year’s resolution – do yoga. And if you have something you have to quit, then it’ll be there to get you through it. When it came to cigarettes I had to do something about it. I had to quit. I was killing myself. I had a smoker’s cough at 23! it was pretty pathetic. That’s when the third chakra deity was necessary. His name is Rudra and he is ruthless. I like to call him the Nike God – no excuses, just do it. Sometimes you need to invoke him to help you do something that you gotta do.

Really, you need to make a choice here…

Strengthening Immunity Tip #37: Do not go to New Jersey for Thanksgiving

Well, it happened – I got sick. And not just a little sick – a full-on, whopping, if-I-move-I’ll-throw-up stomach flu sick. We went to my brother’s house in New Jersey for Thanksgiving. My sister came with her three young children, green bean casserole, and kisses laced with stomach flu – which many of the other guests enjoyed two days later, thank you very much. 

Fortunately my son didn’t get sick. Whew! Just my husband and I. So the two of us layed in bed all day at my brother’s house the Saturday after Thanksgiving and Bhaerava spent most of the day shooting his 11 year-old cousin’s nerf dart gun at the wall above our heads.

Here’s another tip: The day after you get the stomach flu, do not travel by car for 15 hours back to North Carolina. That’s how I got the head/chest cold, which, much to its amusement, is still lingering. Although it’s completely against my very nature, I am forced to do nothing (save a bit of blogging ;->). I would blame the entire senario on the life-force sucking vibration of northern New Jersey, but that would not be very nice. Let’s just say I’m happy to be home. I’d much rather be sick in the very near vicinity of several health food stores, acupuncture clinics and people who let me come over and lay on their Migun beds.

Now here’s the fun part: Once safely back in the sane village of Asheville, I got out my neti pot – filled it with slightly warmer than body temperature water, 1/4 t. of very fine sea salt, and 5 sprays of colloidal silver (that tip was from my fantastic acupuncture friend Natalie Allard.)

Wow! Nasal irrigation is awesome! It’s made me feel so much better. White flour is a good thing to stay away from, but hard when my son has been begging me to bake gingerbread friends with him. So I’m also trying to get in a few bowls of steamy miso soup – with lots of ginger broth and root veggies. Yum (but, um, not as “yum” as the gingerbread friends).

And then there’s the relaxing part. I’m so good at dishing out the advice aren’t I? So I have actually been spending a few minutes relaxing each day with my legs up the wall and meditating a bit more than usual (and if I neti first I can actually breath through my nose for a while!). Sickness is a good mirror – what are you doing? slow down! and if you don’t slow down I’ll make ya!

In Praise of Neti

My friend told me her 4 year old daughter just did her first neti pot. She was so happy, she said, “It was sort of like watching her take her first steps, I was so excited!”

I love Asheville…

Anyway, this particular child has had quite a few issues in her four short years of life. Her mom has done some amazing healing work with her with homeopathy and essential oils, and now that she can neti, she’s on her way to even better health.

We don’t clean our nose in this culture – it’s kinda bizarre, in fact when I think about it, it’s down right barbaric. We wash our faces, but there’s not the instruction to get in there with some water and clean out the old schnoz. It doesn’t deserve such blatant neglect! Your nose deserves to be washed as much as your face does.  And if you can just get a little water up in there and blow it out once a day or so it’s about all it needs.

But it can feel like drowning to some people – others don’t like the chlorine – for others it’s the pressure in the sinuses. So for the sensitive types among us, there is this incredible ancient invention – the neti pot. After Oprah did a show on neti my friend Matthew Cox’s website all about neti pots started getting all sorts of hits.

He’s a veritable neti officianado! Everything you could ever want or need to know about neti pots and more! (and by the way, he did my website and he’s a great tabla player and an all around great guy in general)

The thing that’s great about neti-ing is that it fights off the bad guy germs from the get-go. If you neti regularly you’ll improve your chances of staying healthy this winter.

Now about getting stronger on the inside, I want to talk a bit about the lympatic system and the yoga world’s take on it…

but i’ll save that for next week..

Strengthening Immunity

My son’s little nose is a bit red and chapped right now – and he’s been tired and a little cranky. It’s that time of year. For kids it’s not a bad thing to be a bit under the weather as long as it’s not too frequent. Their immune systems are still developing.

Germs are helpful in this process. But grown ups have been through that and frequent colds during the winter are avoidable if we make an effort to keep our immune systems strong.

So here are some ideas…

First, sleep.

Why do we have this bias against sleep in our culture? I saw a bumper sticker for a coffee shop the other day that said, “Sleep is for the Weak” That’s just great. Drink more coffee so you don’t have to sleep. Of course this makes your adrenaline glands go into overdrive and then konk out, so then you have to wake them up again with more coffee.

Your poor adrenaline glands – did it ever occur to you that they might have feelings too and don’t enjoy being treated like slaves? They have rights too! Free your adrenaline glands!

Let them rest for god’s sake. Drink less coffee and sleep more, take a nap on Saturday, go to bed early at least one night a week. After lunch, shut your door, turn off your phone, put on some Coyote Oldman or Shaman’s Dream Project, put your legs up the wall, slap on an eyebag and breathe for 15 minutes.

A little rest goes a long way to keeping us healthy. More tips coming soon…

I Believe in Everything

Have a listen: http://www.mofro.net/music/ (it’s no. 12 on Orange Blossoms – click on the album cover and then scroll down on the right side)

It didn’t really hit me until I saw Jesse Jackson. He was standing there with wet eyes and his index finger on his mouth, biting his lip to keep from sobbing. That’s when it came through me – this is real. This is happening. And I have been so darn cynical and fearful – and not just for the last 8 years, but for my whole adult life. And I couldn’t believe, I couldn’t believe it was really going to happen. I really thought it would be another stolen election. I really thought at the last minute there would be huge disappointment again. I didn’t want to admit that to anyone, especially not myself. But I was harboring that doubt, I was thinking about moving to New Zealand, I was not hopeful.

And then there he was, crying, because it was real. Because it really was happening. The yogis say hope is in the heart – they believe that actually it’s a petal of the heart chakra – an exquisite, tender petal. When I saw all those thousands of people gathering in Chicago, it just blew my mind. This person has inspired hope. This person has led people into their hearts. And I don’t agree with all of Barack Obama’s policies and I don’t think he’s a savior, but he has given people hope. And that has moved them, at least for the moment, into their hearts. This is a revolution of the heart. I believe that.

My neighbor’s mother voted. She is an addict, she has nothing, but she found some hope in her heart. I’m a believer.

My Heart Cries For Haiti

Haiti is a mess. The worst hurricanes in years have devastated an already devastated island. It’s not like Haiti had something and then it got trashed – Haiti never had anything to begin with.

About 3 years ago my friend Demeter, who was living here in Asheville at the time, built a couple of houses, took the money he had made and and bought an old school bus. With the help of members of Ananda Marga and Jubilee Church, he loaded it up with donated food, and medical and school supplies, drove it to Miami, put it on a boat and sailed it to Haiti. Since then he’s gotten some serious grant money from various sources and basically built most of the infrastructure (roads, wells, etc.) in one area of the island near the city of Gonaives.
Right now Gonaives, which is a major city by the way, is under 9 feet of water. People are stranded on their roofs.

All the roads and bridges leading to the city have been destroyed leaving virtually no way for aid to get to the people. The death toll is rising, and very soon food will run out and diseases will set in. So residents are expecting Demeter and his team to fix things in his area because they are already there and established. But his resources have been demolished – they’ve lost their cars and motorcyles, a lot of their computers, and a lot of his staff has evacuated also.

They need laptops badly and just about anything else. Here’s his website:
http://www.amurthaiti.org

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.”
-Dalai Lama

Demeter in Haiti

Real World Liberation

One of my students from the Subtle Yoga Training Program asked me how I possibly have time to do all my practices in the morning and then get my son off to school and my husband off to work and then do all the work I do myself.

Well, let’s see, I rise at 3 am, meditate for two hours, do one hour of asanas, grind wheat berries by hand, bake fresh bread, or muffins if I’m in the mood, wash the floor, write a few aricles or blogs and run 6 miles before anyone else even wakes up! It just makes me feel so good all day long. Oh and by the way, did I mention that I fast twice a week on nothing but fresh kale juice from my garden?

Okay, so here’s the reality check: I do what I can and I eschew guilt. I get enough sleep, I accept that my 30 (on a good day 45) minutes of morning meditation may be done with a 4 year-old pirate on my lap. I do yoga with my pirate hanging around coaching me on my cobra or crawling under me during a wheel pose – and if I don’t do as many postures as I would like – so what? Even one makes me feel better than none at all. I try not to freak out when, at the end of the day, there are pieces of old toast, several small rocks and various superhero figures where the furniture cushions should be (which by the way, are arranged as a pirate ship on the floor). My family is fed, happy, well-rested, basically clean – that’s the reward of my practice.

When I was in college, a women’s studies professor told me, “Guilt is a useless emotion. The flip side of the guilt is responsibility.” So, when it comes to my practice, my first question is what am I responsibile for? Did I gladly accept those responsibilities? My first responsibilities are my relationships. And that means my relationship to my deepest self as well my family, friends and students. So am I holding my relationships up? Am I supporting them? Am I balancing them? If I can answer yes, then guilt is a non-issue. It’s easy to be a yogi when you don’t have any relationships. But the real inner work is done with others. Samgacchadvam. Together we move towards enlightenment, not alone on isolated purple yoga mats.

Here is my little pirate jumping off the plank